Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Still Waiting

Still waiting....I want to jump into something else...go forward with prayer meetings...yet this seems to be a not yet time...the same seems to hold true for employment(this has been one long -not yet)
I go so far with okay I'll wait and trust the Lord...then I get impatient, fearful and think well maybe I didn't hear right and jump in and take action...so far this has been a mistake...
At times it is physically, emotionally, psychologically uncomfortable. I liken this to losing weight- I have gained 10 lbs for every year since I moved back to N.Y.- It has been 8 yrs that I have been overweight...so I have been wanting to lose weight for a long time...within those eight years I have attempted to change my eating habits and exercise...but I have not been consistent for one reason or other...
So while it seems like I have been "waiting" a long, long time...because I have jumped in and tried to have things my way - I have not truly been waiting...waiting on my Lord and Savior looking to Him for direction and guidance...trusting His timing...not panic during the quiet times....I see that sometimes I want to jump into something, just do something is because I don't want to face what is confronting me at the time. I don't know how to stay put when it gets uncomfortable...sure there is a time to move out of uncomfortable situations but there are other times that dealing with the uncomfortable will lead to healing and deliverance...and my uncomfortableness seems to be more an internal rather than in an external circumstance.

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